Just what characteristics drawn one their ADHD lover? That was a question within my ADHD Lover Questionnaire, the absolute most comprehensive search at this point toward ADHD and you can matchmaking. We’re going to look at the answers on this page.
Very first, rolklore lasts regarding the type of people drawn to grownups having ADHD having sexual matchmaking-and you can vice versa. Never mind you to definitely on the You.S. by yourself, people with many level of ADHD number of 10 to 30 billion. Put another way, they’re not clones. Neither is actually its friends.
- “Opposites Interest”: People with ADHD is actually keen on “organized” and you will joyless workers bees who can secure the trains running to have the both and you will just who therefore was attracted to their totally free-spirited ADHD partner’s spontaneity and sense of fun.
- “For example Draws Including”: Those with ADHD is drawn to anyone else having ADHD since the they inherently understand one another over people “Muggle” could.
These two stereotypes are entirely inconsistent. Yet ,, they echoed having equivalent certitude through the ADHD people when i was researching my personal basic book-but still today. Yes, lovers fitted one another stereotypes turned up inside my local an internet-based talk groups. But really, ranging from those two extremes place the fresh teeming variety of human somebody as well as their relationship.
As i wanna say, “Those with ADHD are just like any other humans, simply much more.” And also the same is true for relationships in which you to or each other partners have ADHD: They have trouble with a similar problems that challenge most of the lovers, only much more.
Constructing the question
How exactly to decide to try such stereotypes? Design a question turned-out problematic when designing my personal ADHD Companion Survey. We compensated toward a rather shed “fishing trip.”
An element of the maximum: Questionnaire participants failed to include the ADHD lovers, only the people regarding people which have ADHD (even though some plus had ADHD themselves). Very, this new respondents thought otherwise replied according to what they got learned from their ADHD lover.
Plus, the faculties I listed was in fact rather arbitrary. And you can, participants weren’t identifying anywhere between faculties that have been present and you may characteristics you to definitely were attractive.
However, new search should begin someplace. I compensated with the two inquiries, utilizing the same a number of attributes for every single question:
- Hence of the ADHD Partner’s qualities lured your? (Check All that implement and you can/or put any that are not detailed.)
- And this of your own faculties would you suspect lured their ADHD lover to you personally? (Have a look at All of that apply and you can/otherwise create one which are not listed.)
Contrasting the fresh Traits
Delight sustain with me. It’s a small challenging to understand at first. However, by comparing both categories is angelreturn free of investigation side by side, we could find out if a picture emerges. That’s, several cumulative “personality” traits more widespread towards ADHD mate (this new mature having ADHD) or perhaps the other mate (this new respondent)?
step 1. And this Faculties Drawn That Your own ADHD Spouse?
For it earliest chart, We sorted from this first matter, sorted from highest to help you lower: “And that of one’s ADHD Lover’s attributes lured your?”
Yellow represents the brand new respondent’s ADHD Partner’s traits, those that the latest survey respondent discovered most glamorous. It seems like the five big brings is:
- Spontaneous; enjoyable becoming which have: this trait is portrayed almost twice as when you look at the ADHD couples such as participants but nevertheless a bit found in brand new participants
- Humorous; cheerful: just a little far more represented inside ADHD partners
- Interesting; imaginative, “different”: regarding a third alot more illustrated when you look at the ADHD couples
- Attractive; sexy: regarding the equal, that have respondents get by themselves just a bit more desirable and you will naughty than their particular ADHD couples (yes, prejudice might possibly be problems here…when i told you…”angling journey”).
- Decent money movie director: huge difference around ranging from respondents and you can ADHD couples